THE LETTER [EPISODE 1]

#ThoughtfulThursday

THE LETTER – EPISODE 1

TO HIM WHO’S CALLING THE SHOTS

Did I appear really appealing the first we met – I don’t really think so, I started dressing to murder you from the second time we met and here I am this morning on your bed. Who no want better thing, shior?! 

I knew from the first night that you are that “omo baba olowo” after all you have kuku shown me that you really have the money – the result is that I too will show you that I have the brain. I actually pitied you by letting you into me last night since I had used my “I’m on my period” lie the last time – it won’t work if I now use it just two weeks after. You didn’t observe when I said I pitied you last night, did you? Well, for your information, I pitied you – don’t forget you did all the work while I laid down like a log of wood with the ever effective “baby, I’m so weak” lie because I know that way you won’t be on me for long.

Mr. Perfect Gentleman, osheey! You really think you’ve found a sweetheart the night your padi’s “girlfriend” introduced me to you. Well, I think you have found a sweetheart; after all, I’ve been gladly playing along – visiting regularly, cooking sumptuous meals, laying the bed, tidying the room. It’s just my time and energy but really it has been your money Mr. Big Spender!

Mr. Big Spender – shebi you’re cool with calling the shots, so I don’t expect you to complain anytime soon. I need a new phone, I’m thinking of iphone 6 since it’s not really expensive; I’m making my hair this weekend unless I’m not going to smile in front of your friends; I just need to look good for you so you can flaunt me in front of your friends all you like.

I’m jealous oh, don’t go frolicking about with some other random chic – don’t become everybody’s spender… god forbid bad thing!

I’m still on your bed with your arms round with lovely butt, play with the beads – I’m not kuku a saint, after all, I know what I really want and I must get it before we break up ‘cos I know you’ll look sideways very soon.

 From Your Supposedly “Newly Found Hoe”, Miss Smart Chic That Has Nothing To Lose.

THE COLUMNIST

OLUWABAMIYO G. FATILEWA IS A LAW GRADUATE OF THE PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY OF IBADAN. HE IS A FREELANCE WRITER, A BLOGGER AND A REALIST.

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