THE TABLE [EPISODE 2]

#TalkingpointTuesday

Hi Readers,

I promised today's episode was going to be interesting and yes, here we are with a very interesting topic. After last week's topic on the growing adult's fight for freedom, we decided to consider two male adults fighting and this time around not for freedom.

Few members made it to the table this week; for the ladies, we have our adorable Tosin, Shade and Victress whille for the gentlemen, we have Dami.

THE QUOTE: "When Two Men Fight Over A Lady, It Is The Fight They Want."

Bamiyo: I love this quote and that is because it tells me simply that no lady is worth fighting over, and I came up with two reasons. Firstly, they are too many ladies around to die for one and secondly, the lady will go for the guy she loves and not the winner of the fight - a tradition among the old Fulanis. Tosin, how would you feel if two guys fought over you and would your love be influenced by the winner of the fight?

Tosin: Thanks Bamiyo, by the little standards I've been able to imbibe - remember, little is a keyword here. I think it is sort of disrespectful when grown men fight over me. To me, it's like whole world sees me as feeble minded and unable to make up my mind. It means I've been giving the two of them what we call hope and shows a sign of unseriousness on my part. If I'm very serious with my man, to the extent of dismissing other advances with a firm tone, I see no reason why two men should fight. Winner or loser, I know my man. Touch my man and watch me and him join hands to flog you (laughs). Of course, I know there are some "aggresive toasters" out there. But my "no" is "no".

Bamiyo: Well, that's something really. Speaking for the ladies, how would you feel if such situation arose?

Tosin: Well, I know I'm worth fighting for. I would feel totally embarrassed if two men fight over me. I so trust my Nigerians. They wld think I've slept with both of them.

Bamiyo: Shade, how would you feel?

Shade: If such were to happen, I'll feel special sha. As a matter fact though, I don't think it's possible for a lady to love two guys equally - you'll just normally go for the one u like best because you're not supposed to b a prize yeah!

Bamiyo: What if the fight in this case were to be a financial one - a show of who has got more money?

Shade: (Laughs) In cases like that, if a poor and rich guy were to fight over a babe, the rich dude has more chances of winning because of what he has to offer. Most ladies won't want to look at a broke-ass in the face when rich nigga is there. So at times, it could depend on the love, or what the gentlemen have to offer.

Bamiyo: Okay! At this point, let me hear from a gentleman, Dami, why do you think guys fight over a lady when we are not having scarcity of ladies (laughs) and would you be caught in such fight?

Dami: Three keywords: "love", "possession" and "ownership". For some guys, it's because they are madly in love with the girl, hence, the thought of another guy having her will drive them nuts; they cannot tolerate it. Most guys also, for the thought of full possession and ownership of the girl, any guy standing in their way will be classified as an obstacle that must be crushed. For me, I cannot fight over a girl, I believe a relationship has to be mutual.

Bamiyo: Thank goodness for the soft ending. It was almost sounding like a battle - full possession, obstacle, crush! Well, Dami just made some points here.

Victress, what's your reaction to the point of full possession and your submission?

Victress: I see no point in guys fighting over me - you can't show possession that way. I have been there and I ended up dumping both the guys, men who go around fighting are jst men that I never see myslf with, that goes to show how weak they are. As you quoted, they are many woman out there, so also, I believe there are many guys out there too. ‎Let's look at it this way , why fight when you can jst let go, right now am inbewteen the fact that i still love my ex but still I won't go around fighting for him with other girls, I mean if he loves me he will come back to me - it should be mutual. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but one that should happen, wat I can do is show him that I am a better woman, who's matured and don't do fights.

Bamiyo: That's one deep contribution. Thanks to everyone who made it to the table. Since just one gentleman made it to the table, I'll love to contribute to this topic.

First, I believe when two gentlemen fight over a lady, we, in most cases know who will win the fight (from the picture above) so I think the whole thing lies on our different perspectives - while one person will see gentlemen fighting over a lady as weaklings, some will see those who run away from fighting as weaklings! I can never be caught in a fight, the lady is supposed to be the judge and her verdict over who she loves more is the final. We're not practising the ancient custom of the Fulanis anymore, so when two guys fight I see it as a result of personal "beef" and nothing more - not even love. Thanks for keeping it a date with us this week, till next week.