THE LETTER [EPISODE 2]

#ThoughtfulThursday

THE LETTER – EPISODE 2

TO THE “GENTLEMAN”

Hello Mister Man, since that dude called Tizzle has decided to sing “Perfect Gentleman”, you all have been screaming and shaking your body to the groove – what do you people even know about perfect gentleman sef, nothing, absolutely nothing! You think it’s just about holding her down? You think it’s by holding the door to let her pass before you? At all, you’ll just jonze – if you stand out of the queue to let every young woman go in before you, you’ll just find out in the end that you won’t get to ride in the BRT!   

Okay, I understand “perfect” is overrated, I’ll rather just think about being a gentleman. Don’t you all know that the word “gentleman” is the white man’s description, we here in Naija, are “African men” – so, you can holla at me and say I’m local, who cares? I’m a fan of Fela Anikulapo-Kuti.

In the name of being a gentleman, you no go chop belle full when food land your table for dinner – you go chop small, smile the rest come dey hold belle for room after dinner say you dey hung. In the name of being a gentleman, person wipe you slap you no return am because people gather you come dey shout “this is not expected of a gentleman, this is not ‘experred’ of a gentleman at all”, na wah oh! Na them go pay your bills if you land for hospital? In the name of being a gentleman, you suit up complete when sun dey blaze like hell, come dey sweat inside like say you just baff – your own don red be that oh, unto say you wan look like ladies man.

African man fit be gentleman sef nau – try go another dinner, pick your native meal for menu (warrii!!!), make you see if dem no go feel you then make sure say you chop am finish (after all you be guest), make you see if you no go fill yourself! You don try wear native go dinner before, make you see as dem go dey hail you – even office man dey wear native, you come dey shame for here. Okay, so dem beat you, you no talk, you no beat back, o ga oh!

In the end, I’m just a typical fan of Fela Kuti, so while you’re trying to brood over this issue, I’m just taking a walk on the streets in my shorts with a cup of lipton – it is really none of my business.

YOURS SINCERELY,

A CONCERNED FAN OF FELA KUTI

THE COLUMNIST

OLUWABAMIYO G. FATILEWA IS A LAW GRADUATE OF THE PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY OF IBADAN. HE IS A FREELANCE WRITER, A BLOGGER AND A REALIST.

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