THE TABLE [EPISODE 1]

#TalkingpointTuesday

THE TABLE – EPISODE 1

In this episode, the table community looked into one issue that concerns the growing youths or better described as the young adults – people that fall into this category are the children in their early 20s. We simply tag the issue as “fight for independence”.

Few community members made it to the table and submitted their candid opinion.

Talking Point: Children get to a certain age in life when they begin to see themselves as adults and so the feel sets in and they begin to see the need to break totally free from the parental style adopted by African parents.

Their first step towards this mini-independence gives the mothers the impression that their once “humble son” is becoming “proud” and “wayward”, however, I think it is a necessary move - whether you try to fight for "independence" now or later, you will have to fight for "independence" somehow and it is always better earlier than later.

SOCHI

It is typical for the parents to feel the child is going wayward and what have you not. But they should be able to acknowledge this stage in their growing child's life. They can't expect the child to grow and mature proper, socially and psychologically under their watchful claws. This desire of an adolescent to be independent is a normal step for them to grow confident; be able to do things for themselves, make choices and accept their consequences, and above all it is a chance for the child to be able to develop a sense of maturity.

I understand it’s equally hard for the parent to watch their child going 'astray' as they think, and do nothing about it. They love and care for the child thus they are willing and fighting to protect the interest of the child, even if it’s with the  child they are fighting for that they end up fighting with. And this, in most cases leads to catastrophic chains of reaction from the child, the parents and the society as a whole – whereby we end up having adolescents who rebel not only at home to their parents but at school and every other place they find themselves.

I however expect the parent to be able to guide and not control these children- they should give them space to grow; after all they won't stay by them forever. I believe the children have a point at claiming young adults. It’s a natural phenomenon for a normal adolescent anyways, and it’s inevitable.

SEYI TOMOSORI

Of course, the children have a point claiming young adults. At a certain stage in life, a child strapped to his mother's back must surely cry for release, this is because the child suddenly thinks he needs to explore; to breathe a different air; to be free from being shackled to his mother which won't help. Same applies to a grown child or young adults, we can't possibly follow rules all our lives, and we can't always be shadowed because how then are we going to face life and its harsh realities? Parents won't always be there for us. Now, it is a general misconception that once a young adult breaks free, he or she is seen as a rebel – permit me to use that word. He or she has become wayward but then this is totally different from our notion as young adults. Yes, I agree it is true that every child has a tendency to rebel but what is your definition of rebellion? It depends, our meaning differs.

We can't always be controlled by our parents, they have lived their lives, it is time to live ours! This doesn't mean we have to live recklessly, rather, I see it as a chance to show we are responsible and quite capable. So I think children have a point claiming young adults.

SIMI MAKINDE

The reality is that most parents know that their children are getting more matured and becoming adults but they don't want to accept that reality and fact, they still want to treat them like they were the small child they carried close to their blossoms then. I believe at a stage, every parent ought to give the children the freedom to do what they like but with an extra watch. It's not that they should neglect their parental duties while giving their children this freedom – no! They should be intelligent about it.

But some children too in a bit to attain independence do it the wrong way. By wrong way, I mean they resort to using force. If one has cloth more than the elders, one cannot have rags more than the elders. In the end, I submit that experience counts and matters.

SANDRA

I think it is normal because we all went through that. Then, parents are likely to think that their children are going wayward and they also expected to curb that youthful exuberance their “kids” are displaying at that moment. I used the word ‘curb’ because it cannot be stopped totally. “Fighting for independence” is natural.

SHADE

It’s normal to be rebellious at some certain age as a child – the stage of the growing youth. I totally support that motion host Bamzie, one needs to get some aspects of one’s life in control by himself.





This is just the beginning, keep it a date with us every week on this page as we bring to the table trivial issues revolving around the youths.
You also don't want to miss:

THURSDAYS: THE LETTERS
SATURDAYS: THE INTERVIEW

Promises to be worth the while

THE COLUMNIST
Oluwabamiyo Fatilewa is a law graduate of the University of Ibadan. He is a freelance writer, a realist and a literati.
Twitter: @baron_bamzie 







 E.MAIL

 bamiyogabriels@yahoo.co.uk or bamiyo.gabriels@gmail.com

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