Lets face the fact,you are gay and there is nothing u can do about it.The FG now says that its 14yrs in jail and that further complicates the matter.Dont worry I am here to educate you on how to keep your gay life secret.
First, you have to go and get a girlfriend even if you are not attracted to her. It’s just for a short period. You can always pay off a prostitute to act as one if u can’t get one. The next thing is to shoot a sex tape.why do u need a sex tape? Ok you need that incase if you are eventually suspected of being gay and taken to court under that suspicion, then you can use that as evidence and the judge will definitely strike out the charge. Make sure you shoot the sex tape in the most compromising of positions making it look real. Nigerians are hard to convince o!
The next thing you have to do is to go to yaba okirika market and get some of those colourful T-shirt with inscriptions such as ‘Infatuated Womanizer’, ‘I luv big boobs’, ’Team LUV Sexy girls’ in front of them. This goes a long way in hiding your true identity. Wear it all around town so that people will see you and hail you as a ‘BADT GUY’
Thirdly you need a scandal. This applies to you if you are a celebrity. Just pay off some blogger to put up a picture of one ‘mgbeke’ girl in your village with the caption ‘Emeka’s Baby Mama’. They can even go as far as putting a baby in the girls hand thereby making it give the impression that the baby is yours. That will definitely seal off your true identity so that people will now look at you as the next 2BABA instead of next Elton John
If you are a student make sure you always have porn on your mobile phone. When I say porn I don’t mean gay porn,that’s suicide. I mean xxx porn,girls of the playboy mansion kind of porn.at least when people pick your phone and go through it they will think you have an insatiable lust for the opposite sex and that further hides your identity
If you are on twitter make sure you follow porn tweeps,I mean tweeps theat tweet nude pictures of girls all the time or girls that tweet their nude picture. You must follow them even if they don’t follow back and also tweet at them. Tweets like that shifts attention away from you and goes a long way in saving your gay life by keeping it secret
Perhaps this is the most important of all my tips to you, You must never be caught in a compromising position with another gay man, don’t get carried away. Nigerians are always watching, a lot of ‘amebos’ are lurking around since the govt have refused to provide employment. If you are caught the only thing that will save you is if you run to America and seek asylum
Do all this and I assure you that your secret will be safe and your gay romantic hustle will stand the test of time.
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